http://mentalstout.com/source Mental Stout: Reality XML article format Contributed by:
Gavin
Reality is where I would rather not be.
Reality is where everyone has a place but me.
Reality is where I am the only one who has to pay.
Reality is a place where everyone else gets to play.
Reality is a place that cost me thousands of dollars so you wouldn't be alone.
Thousands of dollars for me to have a house but to not have a home.
I have no choice don't you see?
I can't escape this fucken reality.
Why can't you just have a little respect for me?
But since all I do is let you use,
I guess respect is something that can never be.

Your friend is unwelcome in my home.
If you don't like it then get out and get one of your own.
The reasons are meaningless at this point.
Maybe if he had offered me a hit off his joint.
He did smoke me out one time.
But he totally blew it when he said 'glad everyone left so I could breakout my dime'
I am not going to say more about that matter
Except if things don't change I am going to turn into the fucken mad hatter.
We both have no place to go.
I can no longer just go along with the flow.
I tried to find some other place that would take me.
But this is the only place left I am even partially welcome to be.
If you are unwilling to compromise.
Then I have no choice but to listen to the words of the wise.
This is not your house; you don't pay the rent.
Then what now? You live in the park in some homeless pimp's tent?
How else can it be?
Don't you care at least a little bit about me?
Then how can you make me do this to you?
How long can I let you abuse me too?


I don't know how else to deal
I don't know why I let you steal
I care too much to not tell the truth.
I really do suffer from the curse.
Maybe I shouldn't have told you cause it just made things worse.
What I feel and what I want are two different things.
Friendship and love don't mix, just like Guinness and chicken wings.
I had to say how I feel.
I had to let you know what I feel is real.
I did not mean to imply I wanted anything from you except to talk.
Why then did you just avoid me and were extra quiet when you walked?
Its time for change don't you see?
It's all about you and it has nothing to do with me.
It's all about tomorrow.
It's all about living without so much sorrow.
How long can you just get by?
How long is that going to be enough?
Till the day you finally die?
Why plan on a future so rough?

I don't understand why I am expected to just let it be.
I don't understand where I fit in, is this cell the only room for me?
I wish there was another way.
I wish there was at least hope that tomorrow could finely be a better day.
But there is not.
You don't care and I can't stop.
What does that leave?
There is a better way I truly believe.
But with out talking it's just going to hurt.
Don't you think it's finally time to see what a real friendship is worth?
Let me be your friend.
I don't exactly know what that means, but it lasts till the very end.
I am not like all the rest.
I am the only one who will still be here when you're back from your quest.
Have I ever made you feel like a guest?
I am the only one who could never ask for a thing.
I am the only one who just wants you to sing.
Besides that I really don't want anything.
If I did I would have tried.
More would probably freak me out, and our friendship would have died.
I don't want to control your life.
I don't want to have a wife.
I just want to have a friend.
You need to understand a real friend lasts till the end.

There is no way to avoid it.
I will never forget.
I don't care if you take all my self-respect.
One day I may wake up, take a look around and inspect.
I know you still won't care even then.
But at least if I don't make you leave, you still have a chance to win.
I understand hating yourself.
I too would if I didn't have all this wealth.
Still you haven't fucked everything up yet.
Please don't make me leave just cause you want to get your thighs wet.
Every time you do these things to just help you by.
Deep inside another part of you dies.
Don't you remember what it's like to still have pride?
Pride is the hardest thing to keep, believe me I tried.
You have so much more then you let yourself see.
How else could you have a friend like me?
It's not cause you're a fucken whore.
Its cause you have so much more.
If I am wrong then what am I?
Nothing more then just some guy?
If that's all there is for me.
Then at least I have something to be.

I am not sitting here waiting for my chance.
I am here because your life needs to advance.
I really don't give a fuck about me.
I am unable to win
That's just the way it always has and will always be.
I can deal with that, it's not the hardest part for me.
I can't deal with the fact that you think you can never win,
it's your bright future that you refuse to see.
That is what destroys me.

Maybe this thing reality is just a test.
Maybe this thing reality is just a fucken pest.
Maybe I am just an asshole
Maybe I don't have a soul.
Maybe I am just not worth it.
Maybe I am just full of shit.
Maybe I don't really care.
Maybe I just don't dare.
If so then why do the eyes in the mirror look so hurt when I look deep inside and they just sit there and stare?

Why does life have to be so fucken hard?
Why do I feel like I am a fucken retard?
Why in this reality am I a bad person?
When the very last thing I want are reality's problems to worsen.
Why can't someone just pretend to understand?
Why don't I just take a stand?
Why can't I just ask you to leave?
Why do I have faith and why do I believe?
Why do I walk around with my heart on my sleeve?
Why doesn't reality let me get away with whatever I please?
Why does reality have me to tease?
When is my guilt going to ease?

One day you will wake up and I will be stiff and dead.
Then what will you do, what thoughts will go through your head?
Will there be someone here to buy the bread?
And wherever I have to go, will there be someone to rub my head?
Do things like that even matter when your dead?

You think this is ridiculous to you?
You should think about what you put me through.
How can I be ok?
When my friend thinks this is her better day?
When my friend thinks this is the only way?
When my friend never says what she has to say?

Life is what you make it.
My life is not a bowl of shit.
Yet I still crave to make it something else.
I still need to find myself.
I wish I had something to just get me by.
I wish I could just pull the trigger and die.
I don't understand this reality.
I can't figure out what's in it for me.
Reality is everything that we do.
Reality is everything that is true.
But no matter what I try to do,
I only know two things that are really true.
You need me and I need you.
Your life is so much easier with me here.
My life is so much better just knowing you are safe and near.
story link: http://mentalstout.com/source/news/article.php/reality
xml version: http://mentalstout.com/source/news/article.php/reality/xml
http://mentalstout.com/source/article.php?story=reality